I came to the UAE with big dreams and a plan to make them happen fast. In one short year I built more than I thought possible, and I am proud of it. This is the story of what came next, and of the hardest thing I have had to learn: how to let go of control.
Why Letting Go Is So Hard for High-Achieving Women
High-functioning women are used to solving things. When something is not working, we work harder. It is how I built an 18-year career and then a company, and it is what stopped working here.
A year ago my parents came to visit, and I saw that my father had entered a more vulnerable season of life. Then the regional conflict began. It felt like the pandemic all over again: months of fear and uncertainty.
I was moved by the positivity of this country and by how hard everyone worked to keep life steady. Still, I slipped into survival mode, which is not a state I want to live in. Self-hypnosis kept me sleeping and caring for my body, but running the company the way I had built it became harder every month.
What Resistance Looks Like
When summer came, I wanted to be outside and I wanted my pets to have nature, so we went to Italy. Three months of slow living followed. I was still in survival mode, but I could see the other side of it.
I came back to Abu Dhabi alone, hoping to find a flight to bring my pets home. Then my golden visa application was denied. The rejection hit hard. My mind kept asking how it was possible when I met every requirement, and I noticed how much I wanted the validation.
I love this country. I love my peaceful home on Saadiyat. I had come here to make it work, so I tried even harder.
What My Body Showed Me
My body showed me what I refused to see. A very painful infection appeared in my left eye, and I took it as a message: it was time to pause and tend my wounds.
I want to be someone who walks her talk. I teach surrender and reverence for the body, and this year I had stepped away from both. I had let masculine energy take over: pushing, forcing, doing. My body was screaming for the feminine: to rest, to receive and to surrender.
To have my kind of success here, I would have to move to Dubai, which does not fit the life I want, or hustle relentlessly to bring my pets back and live as I did before. All along there was a choice I had been resisting: to pause, to choose a slower life for a while and to be close to my family, who need me now.
I am writing this with a broken heart. The old me would have called it failure. I now see that life asked me to slow down first, then my body did, and I finally listened.
How to Let Go of Control: What I Am Learning
So I am going to Italy for a while. I will live in Marostica, a small medieval town near Vicenza, in a place where I used to play as a child, with a beautiful garden and a view of the castle. I am facing my first hard winter since 2004 and the strange feeling of being a foreigner in the country where I was born. I am grieving the opportunities and experiences I had imagined in the UAE.
This is what I am learning:
Flow over resistance. The choice I was fighting had been available all along.
Attachment. I was holding on to one picture of how my life here should look.
The body knows first. Mine spoke when I would not listen.
Community holds you. In Italy, my childhood friends and extended family are already there for me.
Fears are stories. I fear another big change so soon after the last one. I fear not finding a community of ambitious entrepreneurs, and that my work may seem too “woo-woo” in Italy. These are stories I am telling myself.
Inshallah, this is temporary. The situation will pass, and I will return.
November and December will be dedicated to my family: helping them relocate and finding new solutions for my father. After that, I will be visiting the UAE regularly and launching events throughout Italy and Europe. To follow what comes next, find me at @althahealing and at altha.com/events.
Frequently Asked Questions
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A. Letting go of control starts with noticing where effort has turned into resistance. Practical steps include naming what is outside your influence, pausing before pushing harder, listening to physical signals such as poor sleep or tension, and accepting support from other people.
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A. High achievers are rewarded for solving problems through effort, so working harder becomes the default response to every difficulty. When a situation cannot be solved by effort, the same habit produces exhaustion instead of results.
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A. Survival mode is a common term for a prolonged stress response, in which the nervous system stays on alert for weeks or months. It is not a medical diagnosis. Typical signs are broken sleep, constant tension and difficulty resting even when there is time to.
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A. Research reviews suggest that self-hypnosis can reduce stress and support sleep for some people. It is a learned skill that uses focused attention and guided suggestion, and it complements medical care without replacing it.
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A. Yes. Virtual sessions with Letizia Silvestri are available now. Periodic events in the UAE and regular events in Europe will be announced soon, on Instagram at @althahealing and at altha.com/events.
